It is sometimes difficult for creative people to not compare themselves to other creative people. It really is like apples and oranges. No one does the things you do, exactly the way you do them. Nevertheless, time is spent looking at others and coveting their talent, position, money or free time. I have to remind myself constantly that what works for someone else, will likely not work for me. I will not be abel to draw that particular sword from that particular anvil, but there maybe another sword meant just for me.
My son has finally gone down for a nap and already today is off to a better start than yesterday. I think I’m in a better headspace than I was the day before. Expectation and wise time usage are key when making stuff with an infant present. I can’t always expect to “get things done” because sometimes he just won’t let it happen. I had hoped to crank out a couple of videos yesterday, and really only managed one, which is rendering right now. This rendering is taking forever and is a needling reminder that I need to fix how I do things from a technology standpoint.
The end of the year snuck up on me, most big events do these days. I roll deeper than I used to and things are certainly a bit more complicated. So I beg your pardon if I forget the eggs, or my glasses, or the fact that the year is ending.
My wife has gone back to work, and as I type this, my heir hangs from my chest asleep in a canvas strapped “egg sack”. I dare not move him for fear he will awaken and be wrathful. So I suppose now would be as good a time as any to write my weekly blog.
I deal in words and imagination. I name things, and tell jokes, and put word after word, one in front of the other, until sentences and stories are formed. I know things like why a living room is called a living room and not a parlor. My brain stores anecdotes and stories of my own and those of others. What I am best at doing in this world is often difficult to quantify sometimes, because it’s not anything tangible.
We probably shouldn’t have hosted Thanksgiving this year. Our time was split between caring for our weeks old baby, making our house look presentable, all while preparing a large meal. Overall, I think we did pretty well, but by the time the guests left and the last plate was washed, we were completely whipped. But I guess that’s Thanksgiving. We've hosted before, but I don't ever remember feeling this drained. I don't think it was all the fault of the activities. More than anything, absences were keenly felt this year.
This weekend has been one action-packed endeavor after another. Between parties, household chores and writing, I’m a bit knackered. I also managed to throw out my back while picking up a children’s toy, because I am now made of balsa wood, apparently. The truth is, for the past several months, I haven’t taken the best care of myself and when lifting a child’s Pack-N-Play brings you to your knees, it might be time to reevaluate.
I have now officially completed my first project with the added responsibilities of parenthood. I am super thrilled that this is the case, because this was my chief concern when I heard we were going to have a baby. Not diaper changes, feedings, cleanings or costs, but time. However, due to the team up of my wife and I, so far it’s working. Even as I type this our little human is feeding while his mother is laughing and watching Dirty Rotten Scoundrels for the first time, and I can steal time enough away within ears reach to write this to you.
Feeding an infant is a stationary business, it is for this reason that my wife and I have been camped out in the living room for almost three weeks now. Our mega-couch now serves as the summit base on our climb to parenthood. Pillows, blankets and milking machinery strewn about make it all look a bit like a squatter’s nest. Because of this new living situation, we’ve had the opportunity to watch a great deal of television.
I don’t know what to say except that having a child is like having a science fair project that won’t let you sleep.
This is the best way I can describe what it is like being a new father. Every diaper change, every feeding (on each breast), every bit of sleep is catalogued and recorded in order to get some idea as to what this tiny skin golem is up to. The desire to keep him as healthy and as happy as possible seems to be the event years of playing Animal Crossing has prepared my wife for.