31 Horror Films (2014) GUEST BLOG Monster Media Monday: Trantor the Troll

“From the innocence of five, an evil army shall rise. When blossems shower down like rain, my dark kingdom will come again. There is one who can stop me if he would dare with the heart of a child and a mother’s care.“
— Old Lady Hackmore

It’s still October people and therefore it’s a downright shame if I don’t post a "Monster Media Monday" in this month, so here we go.

Trantor (also called Trantor the Troll) was the main antagonist of Ernest Scared Stupid and he’s also the star of today’s Monster Media Monday. So plot points for ya, He was an ancient evil troll who desperately wanted to kill Ernest who is the descendant of the known “troll fighter” Reverend Phineas Worrell who stopped his plans of resurrecting the evil troll race and overthrow humanity in the 19th Century.
So let’s rewind to 19th century Briarville, Missouri, Trantor the troll has been on a rampage, turning children into wooden dolls so that he can feast upon their energy. The townspeople, using a little girl as bait, lure the troll into a trap, tie him up in burlap and throw him into a pit. The village elder, Phineas Worrell, seals the troll beneath an oak tree so that it will never terrorize the children of Briarville again. Fast-forward to the 1990s, where Phineas Worrell’s descendant, Ernest, is a garbageman and friend to the neighborhood children, Kenny, Elizabeth and Joey. The kids are busy working on a haunted house, until it gets destroyed by a couple of bullies. Ernest steps in to help them build a treehouse instead. And of course, which tree does he decide would be the best choice? Thus we have ol’ Boogerlips terrorizing our precious kids, and more importantly, Joey today. PS that’s gotta be one of the best insults for any monster in movie history.

Now as as kid I thought when watching this movie

1) I originally thought the monster’s name was “Stupid”. Like that was his actual name, and Ernest scared him. I thought that was dumb. How clever was I? :)
2) Why is the character of Joey always played by a boy? What is wrong with MY name that there are no other girl Joeys ? It won’t be until years later that Dawson’s Creek turns it all around. Good ol’ Josephine Potter.

As an adult I

1) still love Jim Varney and miss his multiple personality sets from the Ernest franchise. Well and I just miss him in general.
2) Thinks Miak is pretty damn awesome merely because of all the great dialogue Ernest gets to use concerning it, and with such confidence

Alright there it is "Monster Media Monday" maniacs! Be safe come Wednesday and be sure to ask for some Authentic Bulgarian Miak as your treat. Tis the season for it :)

This article was originally published on the "Cup 'o' Fourtay" Blog in October 2012

Joey Nicole Thomas is one of the coolest people ever. She is an actress in Los Angeles, she has written for the comedy blog "Cup 'o' Fourtay" and is putting together a coffee table book called "The Jumping Book". She wears incredible earrings and you can follow her on twitter @joeydedang or on her site joeynicolethomas.com