This weekend has been one action-packed endeavor after another. Between parties, household chores and writing, I’m a bit knackered. I also managed to throw out my back while picking up a children’s toy, because I am now made of balsa wood, apparently. The truth is, for the past several months, I haven’t taken the best care of myself and when lifting a child’s Pack-N-Play brings you to your knees, it might be time to reevaluate.

I have now officially completed my first project with the added responsibilities of parenthood. I am super thrilled that this is the case, because this was my chief concern when I heard we were going to have a baby. Not diaper changes, feedings, cleanings or costs, but time. However, due to the team up of my wife and I, so far it’s working. Even as I type this our little human is feeding while his mother is laughing and watching Dirty Rotten Scoundrels for the first time, and I can steal time enough away within ears reach to write this to you.

Feeding an infant is a stationary business, it is for this reason that my wife and I have been camped out in the living room for almost three weeks now. Our mega-couch now serves as the summit base on our climb to parenthood. Pillows, blankets and milking machinery strewn about make it all look a bit like a squatter’s nest. Because of this new living situation, we’ve had the opportunity to watch a great deal of television.

I don’t know what to say except that having a child is like having a science fair project that won’t let you sleep.

This is the best way I can describe what it is like being a new father. Every diaper change, every feeding (on each breast), every bit of sleep is catalogued and recorded in order to get some idea as to what this tiny skin golem is up to. The desire to keep him as healthy and as happy as possible seems to be the event years of playing Animal Crossing has prepared my wife for.

While time has been at a premium of late and will become more precious when I finally go back to my day job, projects are still being developed much to my delight.

Projects I have created, worked on or contributed to.

Rob has written for 5 of Paste Magazine's 7 Humor Sites You Should Be Reading

Points in Case - Contributing Writer

The Hard Times - Contributing Writer

Halloween has gone through several iterations for me since I donned my first costume and stepped into the chilly Colorado night to grift candy from neighbors. However, there comes a time when it’s no longer socially acceptable to trick or treat, and you have to find other things to do to ring in the holiday.

Event Horizon (1997) Dir. Paul W.S. Anderson

Event Horizon in my opinion, is the best science fiction horror film since the original Alien. Set in 2047 it follows the crew of the Lewis and Clark as they attempt a salvage and rescue on a ship called the Event Horizon which disappeared seven years earlier.

The Terminator (1984) Dir. James Cameron

Let’s start with a good-looking, spunky female protagonist. Now add a brooding, handsome loner with an amazing secret. And finally, top it off with a towering, unstoppable killer who seemingly can’t be destroyed by mortal men. Looks like we got ourselves a good old-fashioned “slasher” movie, right? Wrong. We got ourselves a Terminator.